What to name your car

Should you name your car? And if so, what to call it? This was a question I faced a few months ago when I took a new job in Leeds and the 90 mile, daily round trip started to take its toll on my 55-plate Kia. Time for a newer more economical brum brum.

Cruising home in a new car

Is anything as fun as cruising home in a new car

Buying a new car, is possibly one of the most exciting purchases in adult life – after hand bag and jewellery obviously (and by new, I mean new to you). From window showing on auto trader, test driving, then finally collecting your new baby and proudly driving it home.  And like any new baby, it deserves a name.

Growing up we always had names for our cars.

Why we did this I’m not entirely sure, it probably had something to do with second hand cars in the 80’s and 90’s being notoriously unreliable. As a result, my Dad could often he heard talking to the car like he would a friend, pleading with it to start, behave or warm up faster.

This naming of cars is a tradition that’s continued into adulthood. Over the years I’ve had Cherry a Ford Fiesta, Charlie another Ford Fiesta (but this time a boy), Japser the Criton Xsarsa, Pedro a convertible Peugeot 307 (he was somewhat camp) and Kieran the Kia Sportage.

Choosing my new car

Nissan Juke

My new car. With those killer curves and big ass she had to be a girl.

After weeks of deliberation I decided on a purple, Nissan Juke. The shape is not to everyone’s taste and that’s exactly why I love it. It’s biggish, sporty and has all the latest gadgets. She was undoubtedly a girl. How did I know this? Well, for a start she was purple, then there was the curvy exterior and protruding rear.  This combined with her having engine trouble in the first week, was what lead me to decide she needed a name that was a little bit naughty.

Naming a car might seem a bit silly to some. For me it’s a bit of fun and also a way of reminding us to show appreciation for the material things we are privileged to have living in this country, that make our daily lives easier. Try swapping your car for the peasant wagon for a week and you’ll feel a renewed sense of affection for you humble four wheels.

Pedro the Peugot

This was my car in Sydney. He was gay as, hence the name Pedro. God I loved that car.

How to name your trusty wheels…

  1. Get a feel for if your car is male or female. Some people say all cars are girls but I disagree. Unfortunately looking under the bonnet won’t tell you either. Take it for a test drive and he or she will let you know.
  2. Ask is your car gay. How on earth can a car be gay you may ask? Well having owned two gay cars now here’s how I find this to be true. Two weeks after moving back to Donny last year I bought a black Kia Sportage. He was male no question – a big diesel guzzling unit. But as a yummy mummy style car he also looked a bit camp. This along with his hissy fits every time I tried to put him into reverse told me he could be gay. Hence why I named him Kieran, after a 6 foot 4 gay guy who I used to work with.
  3. Match the brand. Thanks to clever marketing campaigns we tend to buy cars because we have perceived ideas about the make or model. Our choice of car is therefore a reflection of our personality and the kind of life we want to lead. This is my favourite way to name a car and one I’ve adopted for my last three cars. Pedro Peugeot and Kieran, Kia included.
  4. Number plate inspiration. Number plates can provide inspiration for the name. Our first car Betty had a number plate with BET on the end – easy to see how she almost named herself. Its also a pretty handy way to remember your number plate.
Nigella the Nissan Juke

My car had to be named Nigella after Nigella Lawson. An angel with a naughty streak.

What did I name my new car?

Well, she was a girl, a Nissan and the first two letters of the number plate are NG. Combining three of the above, with her naughty nature meant she had to be Nigella after celebrity chef Nigella Lawson. So, if any of my lovely friends and readers hear me talking about popping out in Nigella, now you know what I’m talking about.


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